Everyone says anxiety is just in your head.
If you didn’t overthink things it wouldn’t be so bad. Don’t worry about it. Just relax. I disagree. I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD for short.) It has integrated itself into every aspect of my life -- work, school, family, friendships, you name it. Phrases like the ones above have been repeatedly stated to me by well-meaning people who are really just trying to help. I truly wish I could just shut down those thoughts, to just let things go and take it easy. But I can’t. According to WebMD, generalized anxiety disorder is defined as “excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reasons for worry.” What makes GAD different from the typical anxiety we all experience time to time is that it isn’t triggered by stressful situations like an upcoming test or a big interview. It’s things like “will I get cancer someday” and “how do I know for sure that I didn’t leave the stove on” and “what if someone thinks I’m crazy and doesn’t want to be my friend anymore because I have anxiety?” I am a planner, I always have been, but GAD takes it to the extreme. My mind is constantly racing, thinking about the outline for that project due next week, or my work schedule two months out, or what I’m going to do about graduate school. It makes falling asleep difficult. It makes decisions difficult. It makes life difficult. For a long time, I really worried about letting people who I love and trust know that these things were going on. The fear of judgement has always been one of my greatest downfalls. However, when I came to college, the stress and worry became more than I could handle on my own. I started seeing a counselor who recommended I see a psychiatrist and get on some medication to help. At first, I was completely opposed to this suggestion. It was bad enough asking for help, but what would people think if I started taking medication? They would think I’m crazy, right? Finally my better judgement got a hold of me and I made the appointment. The medications helped tremendously. I was sleeping better, focusing more, doing better in school, and forming deeper relationships with friends. As I opened up to more and more people bout my mental illness, I found out that it’s actually very common, and many of my friends were dealing with similar issues. Although it’s still not something I shout from the rooftops, I am no longer ashamed of my anxiety. It is a huge part of what makes me who I am- a strong, confident woman with a bright future who just happens to have anxiety.
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